Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself drawn into a lot of the comments and Pro/Anti pages on facebook. It’s been so fascinating to see my opinions and views swinging wildly from one extreme to the other on a variety of subjects.

For example;

  • I am Pro Science and Pro Alternative Therapy/Theory/Practices, (Organics vs Conventional Farming methods/practices). Oh and where do I even start on the Anti Vaccination vs ‘You’re an irresponsible parent if you don’t Vaccinate’ debate.
  • I am Pro Raw/Healthy/Paleo food and Pro just anything that tastes good.
  • ETC

It’s so strange to watch the trolls go ape on each other and to see just how nasty people can be. I’ve been asking myself to step outside the fueled rage I see and look for the deeper reasons that people would do these sorts of things to other humans. My prelim conclusion is that it’s an outpouring of expression (a need to be heard) and an attempt at finding some significance /power in a world where opinions are now how we seem to judge and value one another.

I spent a bit of time talking to Phill about it and I realised about an hour and a half later, that I had been rambling about this Pro/Anti, For/Against and Black/White type of thing for most of the time. A few weeks ago we were talking to a friend of ours who we look up to as a fount of knowledge on holistic health, and she was saying that a system that is healthy can manage Balance. A little bit from column A and column B. That makes so much sense to me right now. I’m looking at the 1000’s of choices and decisions I will be making soon (and for quite a while) when we introduce our child into this world and I’m realising that the only thing that really matters, is that we are all happy. Happy in following what makes us feel good and energetic. Vibrant and Alive. Happiness is a struggle when you are fighting for a position in a Pro/Anti argument, trying to convince (who really) that they are wrong.

The things that we choose to do are no more right or wrong than the next person. There is no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. What works for one, may not for another. The universal truths are actually the most simple principles and recognisable to anyone who reflects enough on the true intention of an action, opinion or theory. All the rules I have adhered to through out my life have been to keep me safe from perceived harm – be it my own perception or religion, government or other institutions and people I have held as ‘the authority’ on a topic or subject. And a fun fact that dawned on me a few years ago, is that guilt is a great indicator of when I go against my own values, AND a perfect time to reassess that value and it’s significance in my life anymore.

The extremes of swinging from one Polarity to another has been a massive pattern of mine in the past and recognising it, before it happens again, has been one of the most amazing parts of growing up or learning with the intention of being good to myself. Self judgement and ‘I should have known better’, has never done me much good and the floundering in ‘what ifs’ has only caused me to ab-react further without being present enough and reflective enough to realise when I have experienced enough of a ‘type of doing’ to learn/grow.

Balance isn’t the absence of movement for me. Balance is a way of receiving from all sides of a topic. A way of forging my own path forward with knowledge gleaned from other’s experiences. Towards the positive intention behind all such ideas/sharing.

There are so many wonderful things to experience in life and the poison and bile that I see on a lot of these blogs, posts and comments, are no longer the way I see things. Instead of adamantly pushing against something, I am far more interested in looking at what I am fighting ‘for’. If I am anti ‘this’ then what is the opposite, positive intention I am not making conscious (cause I’m in the heat of the fight)?

I’m not sure where this sits in the ‘duality’ stuff I’ve come across recently – more research into that later I think.

So I think these are my new life’s lessons, intentions or directions;

  • Pro health – physical, mental, spiritual and all other senses of a holistic nature
  • Pro freedom and being able to make your own choices
  • Pro environmental harmony and sustainability
  • Pro love – be it close relationships, friends or anyone who is part of this human experience

Being present and reflection are the two big actions that will help me to be more aware of when I am getting sucked into the old habit of defending a position I haven’t fully reconsidered properly. So both of those together seem to be ‘Mindfulness’.

Taking the time to shift my views, my thoughts and my values has been the most life changing undertaking of my life. In the past few months the significance of this process has been very noticeable and I am so thankful and appreciative to the people who have helped me to learn how to do it, who have been the ‘anti’ person with whom I have fought, or my own dark moments of the soul, that have forced me to reevaluate when I was getting carried away thoughtlessly.

If something feels bad – then it probably is. So simple, yet so difficult to do something about sometimes.