This last year has been a huge one of learning, trying, trialing, failing (forward) and realising that nothing changes unless I make a damn commitment to doing the daily disciplines. I’ve realised I CANNOT *pay someone* to make the changes to me, for me, on me… I’ve used money that way for years. The old saying (okay, the saying I’ve seen on TV a jillion times) ‘they just threw money at the problem’, or ‘they gave the kid money instead of attention’, well, I now actually understand from my own experience. I’ve spent a tonne of money in the last decade hoping it would turn me healthy, skinny and give me that ever elusive ‘energy’ those gym bunnies talk about.
Money didn’t make a difference. – actually, let me correct that, ill intentioned money… the ‘this is THE key’ – ‘the one true way’ money, just made me angrier, sadder and less motivated.
I did the I quit Sugar thing with Sarah. Lasted about a week. – I’m not going to eat food that tastes gross/yuck (yes, I realise I am childish with foods) or that is not a meal because it’s just ONE ingredient. I did the Paleo thing with Pete and OMG it was awesome (helloooo bacon), and then not so awesome as the sugar and dairy addiction ruined any chance of it actually being affective. (Also I have found my compassion for our food growing since well before my trip to India and the meat content in Paleo was getting a bit much… hearing sausages howl on the stove and having to cut up a 2kg piece of lamb into little bits, was too much for me to handle, then realising how many pigs had to die for my bacon addiction… oh and not to mention now learning about parasites on pork – the whole clean and unclean meats (Biblically holding some water there!!)… (all of that new learning for another time).
Over the years, I’ve done the gym, bought hundreds of dollars worth of fitness equipment (heart rate monitor(s) X2, bosu, leg magic, you name it) and clothing (So many shoes, tshirts, tights, socks, oh and I still DON’T regret my Vibram Five Finger toe shoes… however I am still irritated by the Lululemon overpriced (IMO) gear, not to mention their clothes were too ‘petite’ for me), I didn’t do the shakes, that I can remember (I never really understood those). I did the prepared for you meals – Lite and Easy and 1 other type of the same thing, who’s name I’ve forgotten… They all felt like punishment and horribly little portions of bland.
NOW… I’m not anywhere significant on my journey, but some deep realisations over this lasts years attempts have opened my eyes, so I don’t feel like I’m doing things with blind faith that it’ll just ‘magic’ me better.
I now realise, I am not ‘broken in need of a miracle’, I am in need of routine, daily, discipline of healthy practices. (almost all the same word there)
So I am now doing the Tyler Tolman Heal Thyself at Home Health Coaching program – I went to Don Tolman’s ‘Bootcamp 4 Brains’ back in 2010 and it was soooooo far outside my comfort zone of food and health and
amazing knowledge that I filed it away for ‘someday’, and well, someday has come.…it’s been tough, but this time, there’s no turning back. Enough, is enough, is enough, is enough. No matter what happens here, I am putting in place practices that actually make me feel different, stretch me and make me feel uncomfortable in the moment. Growth.
Since starting on this, I’ve done 4 Yoga sessions, it’s been years since I did yoga, once a week for a few months, (this is now at home with DDPY – man oh man, it’s not meditative yoga by any stretch of the imagination) and have done the morning routines, stretching and the 5 Tibetan rites, oil pulling, deep breathing exercises and I’ve completed — yes, you read that right — COMPLETED, the 4 day colon cleanse with NO BLATANT cheating!! Hells yeah baby!! (That is also sooo for another time – By far one of the best things I think I’ve ever done for this body of mine).
I’ve never consumed so much water daily in my life – It’s been a great learning curve and undertaking. Now going through 10 Litres of water a day in our house!! I’m loving the taste of it and craving it actually. (Using non tap water for cooking etc too)
I’ve started having probiotic foods – yes, I am eating sauerkraut! I said “Never” so many times about that in the past. (Never say Never…)
This program has really gotten my head spinning about REAL food – if it’s a vegetable, fruit, nut or seed… It’s NOT intrinsically unhealthy for you. So all the stuff I’ve been avoiding, gluten and grains etc… well, I think they have their place when they are done properly and not over processed. And not over consumed by yours truly.
I’m unlearning a hell of a lot about food and health and plants actually. We’ve been trying to grow a food garden in Roxby (44 degrees in Summer) and it’s scorching the hell out of them. So now, we’re about 2 weeks away from a shaded area and planting for the next season and I cannot WAIT to see what we can grow. We’ve been able to grow cucumbers, capsicum and chillis so far. We’ve got 3 raised beds and are now turning a big section down the side of the house into a garden too.
This is moving me towards a vegan lifestyle – but it will take a few months to transition, because now, knowing (and finally accepting that part of myself – the ‘monster who liked meat’) what I’m like with tastes of foods, I am going to focus on ‘like’ tasting foods (meat like, or favourite dishes like). Slowly getting me to a RAW food diet.
There are so many facets to such a huge lifestyle change – of course, number 1 is — I can’t do this alone. The support of the whole family unit is required. It’s not a quick flick change, it’s a daily considered undertaking. WE have to do this together and it takes the both of us egging each other on to get through the tougher days.
The amount of money spent is also important… we threw away food we later bought again when we did the IQS thing, the paleo thing and countless attempts at ditching sugary foods. But you know what… this time, when we cleared it out, the ONLY things we left that weren’t on par, was the meat in the freezer. That we will use up and then not replace with more meat – perhaps some ‘meat like’ things… For the first time in my life, I’ve felt that I had NOTHING that was holding me to the ‘old ways’ of doing things. Out are all the chemicals in detergents and household toxins too, so a pure clean slate. (the long term detoxing of the body… well, that is this process.)
So for money – I’ve set aside a year to make the full transition in foods and household appliances etc.
And of course for any of those who know me well, there is a “SPREADSHEET for change”!!! W00t! Detailing the things we are working towards and the ‘hang ups’ or ‘tricky’ bits of the process.
My family is my most important endevour within my Daily Disciplined Spiritual Practice, and so I don’t want to teach my daughter negative patterns that she will just have to unlearn or have ill health and sickness coming out of my kitchen for us 3.
What use does she have for crappy food? NIL. So if I won’t eagerly feed it to my kid, why will I feed it to myself? The buck stops with Mumma Hippy here.
There is so so much I want to write about in this journey forward. But I think I’ll break them up into different writings later. There’s a lot to this, but it’s just one foot in front of the other. Baby steps and small incremental changes. (Yes, stop laughing, I know you can’t believe you are hearing ME say things like that). Reality is a brutal teacher in the most amazing of ways. I’ve stopped everything, and started to listen to the life lessons I’ve been glossing over or have paid big bucks to Spiritually Bypass.
I am now more important to me, than ever before. It’s time to let this path unfold in front of me, open minded and conscious of every decision.
Hippy Hippy Joy Joy!! (And no, that’s NOT sarcastic – yes, now stop laughing again!!!)