There is a wonderful thing that happens when I am pregnant, I usually end up going through a big learning curve dealing with some massive philosophical and life lesson experience that helps me to find peace with, to grow from and to understand more fully, a part of myself, my story or life’s usual ‘tricky’ situations that are usually avoided.
Last pregnancy there was a huge undertaking of visiting the dark side of myself and revealed a big misunderstanding or lack of light around the ‘Mother’ figure. My own mother, what motherhood could, would, should mean and every other facet of what this journey and life change could possibly touch on. It was intense, it was difficult, it was emotional – and most of all, it was freeing. It gave me access to deeper parts of myself, the real intention and appreciation of the experience that I was going through at that time.
This pregnancy there is only 1 theme too. Living on Purpose. Which coincides with stripping the nonsense, the guff and all the pretense away from the usual ‘niceties’ and ‘norms’. It’s been about looking at the reality and truth of each situation, in relationship to MY experiences. Not to anyone elses, not to the standard or insta-anything version of life. It’s been about realising who I am. Who I continue to ‘show up as’ over and over in my everyday.
Is the sacredness, the reverence and awe of living in this blessed moment being experienced? Or am I rushing through trying to get somewhere else quickly? Am I living consciously as the ‘Living God*dess’ that I am the embodiment of, or am I being the Schlumpadinka that is easier? The Living God*dess practice and concentration point has been very potent in understanding and accepting parts of myself. An integration of left and right, black and white and other polarities/dualities. Light and Dark both being equally important along the way. This time however, the process has not been an emotional one. It hasn’t been the crying and lamenting… it’s been a very pleasant coming together of pieces. The jigsaw pieces falling into place, the aha moments and blinding epiphanies that serve to illuminate the rest of the playing field.
From a practical perspective I’ve been exploring some of these topics in depth.
- Unschooling – including the concepts of Deschooling, Wildschooling and Freeschooling
- Destroying the blueprint, cookie cutter, out of the box ‘Business models’ that I’ve been taught that do NOT work on a soul level for me. – this is a really really cool one. 3 experiences in 2 weeks showed me the way forward and it has been by embracing who I am fully. What I love, what I am passionate about and what I am here to do. It has Zero focus on money or accumulation.
- Materialistic and Accumulation Obsessions that I have had in the past and now Minimalism or effective and efficient life spaces
- War on Waste – ending mindless consumerism (for me) and how to stay true to a principle when everything is so easy if you don’t. – this is now including a foray into cloth nappies which didn’t get much airtime with the first child.
- Writing and expressing or sharing verbally the real me
- Soul Art – this one is a scary one for me as I’ve always believed I was smart not creative, just my dream has always been to be a designer of anything.
- Discipline and Practice – the freedom that comes with opening up the floor to a new foundation of strength, honour and vulnerability.
Spirituality is the practical side of life meeting the meaning we give it and then finding the neutrality in it all.
Spirituality is finding daily things to do that help calm the overstimulated and overworked part of my mind that then helps me to be less affected by the events, circumstances or emotional spillings out that others have around me. To be level headed and open hearted. To have compassion and empathy and at the same time insight and foresight.
Spirituality is letting go of the expectations and receiving life’s happenings as if they were treasures and precious gifts. Reverence for all that occurs and stopping the pushing out, avoidance and refusal to face the unpleasant side or the darkness that is inherent of living as a human.
As always I want to use phrases that have been overused and have lost a lot of their meaning.. like
- embracing life’s ups and downs
- letting go
They all have meaning for each of us, but my version of spirituality is seeing the interconnectedness of all life and then doing something about it. Playing my part properly, listening to the cues and nudges and being a response-able soul in the here and now, not waiting for some magical, mythical time that is in some summerlands version of reality. Being 100% myself in every day, observing and responding to what happens and creating when spirit inspires me to.
It’s not easy, that’s why it’s a lifelong pursuit. And it’s so worth it.
It feels like everything comes together.